When the answers seem wrong

From: Ben Kelley
Subject: When the answers seem wrong

There are times in my life when it seems the answer to prayer I got wasn't really from Him, or, the unthinkable, HE was wrong. I thought of this as I read the last few chapters of the book of Judges. A grievous sin had been committed by some men in Gibeah, in the land of Benjamin. As news of this went out, the rest of Israel sent word to the tribe of Benjamin to give up the perpetrators. They were told, more or less, "stick it in your ear," as Benjamin gathered its troops (26,000+) to fight them. The rest of the nation gathered for war (400,000+) and Scripture says they asked God which of the tribes should lead the charge. God answered that Judah should go first. Okay, it seems God was directing them. The trouble was, they (Israel) lost 22,000 men that day. We read on and find they wept and sought God's face about whether or not they should go to battle again, again receiving a yes answer. This time, following God's answer again, they lost 18,000 men. That's 40,000 men lost in two days, one tenth of their entire army. Wouldn't that seem like maybe God was leading them wrong, or the answers weren't from Him? Well, they asked a third time for His direction and were told to go again, and this time HE said HE would give Benjamin over into their hands, which HE did. That third answer is the type we like to believe has come from God, but wouldn't it be pretty hard to think that before the fulfillment of it occurred? Yes, number three was a "good God answer," but I'm sure it would have been pretty easy to worry about it after seeing the consequence of the first two answers.

We seem to have been conditioned to believe that, unless we receive what we think of as a "good" answer, we haven't heard from Him, or we just didn't have enough faith. I have, as I'm sure you have also, received answers to prayer that seemed similar to what these Israelites received. You were sure you asked in faith and with a pure and open heart towards God, yet things didn't turn out very well in your mind. At the risk of repeating to some of you, let me tell you one of these instances in my life as a testimony.

I had worked almost 27 years with Birmingham Police. I enjoyed my job. My daughter had asked me to take a Postal Service exam with her, to be there and give her moral support, so I did. Neither of us heard anything for a long time and had just forgotten about it, when suddenly I received a letter stating they wanted me to come interview for that particular position. I wasn't sure whether or not that was a leading from God, so I honestly and openly asked my Father God to show me what HE wanted. I told Him I was content to stay where I was and would do so gladly, but if His desire was different from mine, I was willing to follow Him. I won't go into all of it, but it seemed to be pretty clear that HE said "go to the Post Office." I went to their interview asking God to please lead my life and prevent the enemy and my own flesh from leading me astray. I asked others to be praying also. In other words, I did everything HE had ever taught me about seeking His face and did them with a heart open to His will. That interview ended with them asking if I could start the next day, but I asked for a few more days to pray. I still got the answer I had before, "go to the post office." I did, and for the next two years I was miserable in that job. I believe we are each made with a particular "bent" (inclination and interest) and with certain abilities that enable us to follow that bent. Let me tell you, the Post office may be a wonderful place for many people, but almost everything about it went opposite to my bent and abilities. I continually prayed, telling God I was willing to follow Him for His Glory and not for my own pleasure. As I began approaching two years in their employee, I began doing an extremely heavy route, heavy both literally and figuratively. I began having pain in my left chest, and took off a day to go to the Doctor. All my family on my Daddy's side has bad hearts, men and women alike. The doctor said he thought it was muscular strain, but because of that familial history he wanted to do further tests. He did, and called me late evening the next day and said, "do not go to work or do any activity, in fact, stay in bed. I have you scheduled for surgery day after tomorrow." He told me that one of the major arteries into my heart (the left anterior descending) was 100% blocked. He later told me it was an absolute miracle I had not had a major heart attack and that I didn't have severe damage to the muscle. I was hospitalized and underwent angioplasty to open the vessel and during that surgery had a stent placed into the artery to keep it open. Before that operation, the surgeon showed me pictures of the arteries in and around the heart. My L.A.D was clear and bold, until it stopped dead at the blockage. He showed me how tiny capillaries had miraculously formed and branched around the blockage, keeping the heart supplied enough to keep it alive. After a few weeks at home, walking and exercising to build back up, the Lord gave me freedom to resign from the Post Office. I promise you, I was as thankful for that as almost anything in my life.

Yes, that was the end of what had been two years of misery which started after I asked God for His guidance and yielded myself to Him the best I knew how, then went the direction I was sure HE told me. Two years I couldn't understand why God led the way I was sure HE had. Yes, I had prayed, but so had my wife. As some of you already know, from the beginning of our marriage, Beth had begun praying that God would prevent me from having a heart attack, as she knew of the heart problem in my family lineage. God answered her prayer and HE answered my prayer. Yes, for two years it seemed like the answer I perceived wasn't from Him, yet I couldn't get the freedom to leave. My faith was also real. HE is just so far above all we can imagine, as are His thoughts and ways (Isaiah 55), that we don't understand or perceive. We just have to pray and trust HE is working the right thing in our lives, whether or not that seems to be the case. When the answer(s) seems wrong, God is right!

The Israelites in our Scripture passage kept believing and trusting God to answer and lead them in the right way, as HE gave me the grace to do. They received the victory, as did I. If they had not trusted God to answer, they would not have experienced the victory as HE gave it to them. If I had given up on hearing Him, I would have left that job and probably ended up with a massive heart attack. As we pray, we only know a little bit about what's going on, or at least we think we know. God, on the other hand, knows all. We think we know what is best. God knows what is best.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (James 1:5-6)

If we know so much, why would we ask God? We don't know, so we do ask Him. When He answers, why then do we waver and doubt His answer or our hearing? We are to ask Him and then fully trust (in faith and not wavering) HE knows and answers with the right answer, HE gives the victory, even when the answers seem wrong.

God is good, all the time; all the time, God is good.